Consensual Non-Monogamy in Therapy: Best Practices for Therapists
Therapists and Wellness Professionals:
This 10-hour self-study course is taught by Martha Kauppi, a marriage and family therapist and AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor.
CNM relationships ARE becoming more visible - therapists need provide Accurate Information and inclusive care
Consensual non-monogamous (CNM) clients need therapists who understand their unique relational challenges. Unfortunately, most therapy training does not include information on CNM relationships.
Lacking knowledge about CNM can unintentionally harm your clients and hinder their therapeutic progress.
Here’s how you may do your clients a disservice if you don’t understand these relationships:
Fail to recognize that clients may hide their relationship structures out of fear of judgment
Be unaware of personal misconceptions and biases about CNM relationships
Assume CNM is inherently dysfunctional and the cause of relationship problems
Misinterpret jealousy or boundary concerns through a monogamous lens
Struggle to help clients create ethical agreements and build trust
Ignore or minimize the impact that stigma, marginalization, and family rejection have on people in CNM relationships
Turn away CNM clients due to a lack of confidence in treating them effectively
Even well-intentioned relationship therapists can negatively impact clients when they approach CNM clients without an informed, affirming framework.
This training will equip you with the knowledge to effectively support CNM clients or those considering this type of relationship.
This training is invaluable!
Martha normalizes CNM issues, challenges mono-normative biases, and helps therapists approach relationship structures more flexibly.
I have grown a lot. I’m much more intentional about helping my CNM clients define their goals, identify key issues, and create meaningful change.
Martha’s approach is clear, structured, and deeply practical. She doesn’t just teach theory; she makes it immediately applicable. Her training has sharpened my skills, increased my confidence, and enhanced my effectiveness working with CNM clients.
This training is invaluable. Even if you have experience with CNM clients, there is always more to learn. Martha’s ability to distill complex dynamics into actionable strategies while understanding diverse perspectives makes her training truly exceptional. I highly recommend it!
Nanaho Sawano
Psychotherapist
New Jersey, New York
New Jersey, New York
What You’ll Gain By Taking This Course:
- Provide Ethical, Affirming Care: Offer therapy that respects and validates CNM relationships and avoids bias, misinterpretation, or pathologization.
- Expand Clinical Competence: Gain the knowledge and skills to help CNM clients confidently.
- Build Client Trust and Commitment: Foster a supportive, validating environment where clients feel seen and valued, increasing engagement and long-term therapy success.
Apply Core Therapeutic Principles to CNM Clients: Integrate differentiation, emotional regulation, and secure attachment into your work to ensure therapy is highly effective.
Broaden Your Client Base: The demand for affirming CNM therapists is increasing. Position yourself as an inclusive and knowledgeable provider.
Improve Client Outcomes: Help CNM clients navigate challenges, build healthy relationships, and achieve greater emotional well-being.
Meet Martha Kauppi, marriage and family therapist, educator, author, speaker, and AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor
Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in health and sexuality, and is a senior trainer of the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy.
Her private practice in Madison, Wisconsin, specializes in complex relational therapy, sex issues, and alternative family structures, including consensual non-monogamous relationships.
As the founding director of the Institute for Relational Intimacy, Martha offers unique trainings to help therapists all over the world become comfortable, confident, and competent working with relational intimacy challenges and sexual issues. She is the author of Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients).
My big eye-opener was realizing the biases I didn’t know I had.
As a certified sex therapist in a conservative community, I felt like I was navigating this field alone. I wanted to learn more about CNM, which led me to Martha’s training.
I thought I understood relationship dynamics well. However, I hadn’t considered the reality of manipulation, coercive consent, and the unique ways power dynamics can play out in CNM relationships.
Martha pushed me to see these in a new light, which changed how I listen, assess, and support my CNM clients.
Martha’s teaching style is powerful. She’s grounded, deeply knowledgeable, and incredibly direct in the best way possible. She doesn’t just present theories; she teaches from real, hands-on clinical experience.
I now have a deeper understanding of differentiation, how to guide clients through difficult conversations, and how to ensure they have fulfilling relationships.
If you’re a therapist considering Martha’s course, don’t hesitate. It’s entirely worth it.
Amy McDonald (She/Her)
AASECT Certified Sex Therapist
Midland, Michigan
The course details are below, but if you're ready to sign-up, here you Go...
Martha has a unique way of flipping the script, guiding us through our biases to better support clients.
Martha’s understanding of complex relationship dynamics, power differentials, and how to meet clients exactly where they are is unparalleled. Her approach helped me refine my ability to stay balanced while working with partners who may have different levels of power or influence in their relationships.
Before taking the course, I hadn’t fully grasped how much societal judgment and taboos still surround topics like CNM, infidelity, and kink, even among therapists. She teaches in a way that makes these conversations feel accessible and natural rather than something to tiptoe around.
One of Martha’s most transformative tools is the Will Lilly Assessment. I always assumed that if clients wanted to discuss sex, they would bring it up themselves. However, once I introduced this tool in my intake process, I realized how many people had been waiting for an invitation. It opened up conversations in a way I hadn’t anticipated and deepened my work with clients significantly.
Martha is truly a leader in this field. Her ability to normalize taboo topics, challenge biases, and expand therapists’ perspectives is outstanding. She teaches in a way that is both accessible and profoundly impactful.
If you’re considering Martha’s course, don’t hesitate. It’s worth every penny.”
MAya SCHULTZ
Relationship and Family Coach
Boulder, Colorado
Topics in the 4 ReCorded, 90-Minute Modules
Module 1: Polyamory and Consensual Non-Monogamy: The Basics and Beyond (90 minutes)
Module 1: Polyamory and Consensual Non-Monogamy: The Basics (90 minutes)
What you’ll learn in Module 1:
- Core Concepts & Terminology: Gain a clear understanding of key CNM terms (there are many).
- Research Insights: Explore evidence on CNM prevalence, relationship satisfaction, mental health outcomes, and common challenges in CNM relationships.
- Social Construction and CNM Theory: Understand how societal norms shape perceptions of monogamy and non-monogamy, and examine key theoretical frameworks.
- Marginalization & Overlapping Groups: Recognize the stigma CNM individuals face and its overlap with other marginalized groups to support clients better.
Module 2: CNM in the Therapy Room: Case Conceptualization (90 minutes)
In Module 2, you’ll learn how to:
Facilitate Ethical Consent: Assess and promote clear, informed consent.
Build Secure Bonds: Help clients cultivate trust and emotional safety.
Encourage Differentiation: Support clients in maintaining individuality while staying emotionally connected.
Redefine Fidelity: Guide clients to honor agreements and boundaries rather than focusing on exclusivity.
Ensure Mutual Benefit: Assist clients in structuring CNM relationships to meet all partners’ needs.
Manage Emotions: Equip clients with strategies to navigate jealousy, self-comparison, and compersion.
Module 2: CNM in the Therapy Room: Case Conceptualization (90 minutes)
Module 3: Agreement Making and Keeping: Building Security and Reliability (90 minutes)
Module 3: Agreement Making and Keeping: Building Security and Reliability (90 minutes)
In Module 3, you’ll learn to:
Craft Authentic Agreements: Help clients create agreements based on genuine preferences rather than fear or control.
Encourage Open Communication: Help clients to engage in honest discussions that build trust and security.
Support Repair & Accountability: Guide clients through renegotiation and trust repair when agreements are broken.
Strengthen Trust Through Autonomy: Foster security by promoting honesty, consistency, and differentiation.
Module 4: Differences of Opinion about Opening Up: Working with an Impasse (90 minutes)
In Module 4, you’ll learn to:
- Clarify Aspirations: Help partners align individual and relational goals.
- Ensure Ethical Consent: Support clients in maintaining active and pressure-free consent.
- Facilitate Differentiated Dialogue: Guide partners in expressing their needs without defensiveness.
- Use Chairwork for Breakthroughs: Apply experiential techniques to help clients explore emotions and shift perspectives.
Module 4 Differences of Opinion about Opening Up: Working with an Impasse (90 minutes)
You Also Get 7 Bonuses With This Course
Bonus 1 [Video Interview]
Bonus 1 [Video Interview]
LGBTQIA+ Clients and CNM Relationships with Dr. Reece Malone [Video, Audio & Transcript]
Dr. Reece Malone addresses common misconceptions and biases therapists may have about clients in CNM relationships, as well as the types of support LGBTQIA+ individuals seek when navigating CNM dynamics. He also addresses how to help LGBTQIA+ clients establish healthy relational agreements, manage jealousy and attachment concerns, and address power imbalances and breaches of trust.
Bonus 2 [Video Interview]
Bonus 2 [Video Interview]
Parenting and Children in CNM Relationships with Dr. Elisabeth Sheff [Video, Audio & Transcript]
Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, the foremost international expert on children in polyamorous families, explores the diverse family structures and parenting styles found in CNM communities.
She highlights the strengths and challenges of parents and children in CNM families, sharing insights into how CNM relationships can foster children’s communication skills, resilience, and emotional security.
Bonus 3 [Video Interview]
Bonus 3 [Video Interview]
Power, Boundaries, and Consent: Best Practices for CNM and Kink-Affirming Therapy with Stefani Goerlich [Video, Audio & Transcript]
Stephanie Goerlich explores the intersection of CNM relationships and kink, highlighting key challenges and misconceptions therapists may have when working with these clients. Topics include consent, power dynamics, attachment, trauma, and ethical considerations.
The discussion provides practical guidance for supporting clients while avoiding bias and stigma. Therapists will gain insights into best practices, cultural competency, and valuable resources for deepening their knowledge.
Bonus 4 [Video Interview]
Bonus 4 [Video Interview]
Safer Sex in CNM Relationships with Lilithfoxx [Video, Audio & Transcript]
Lilithfoxx explores the unique considerations of safer sex and STI prevention in CNM relationships. She discusses common STIs, effective prevention methods, common myths, best practices for testing, and how therapists can support clients in navigating safer sex conversations. Finally, she addresses the role of therapists in reducing stigma and promoting healthier, more informed approaches to sexual health in CNM communities.
Bonus 5: 5 CNM HelpFul Handouts [PDF Document]
Bonus 5: 5 Helpful CNM Handouts: Tools To Use In Therapy [PDF DocumentS]
Martha’s handouts include:
Handout 1: Personal Change Worksheet: A tool designed to help clients clarify their personal growth goals, identify obstacles, and create a plan for sustained change, particularly within relationships.
Handout 2: Discussion Topics for CNM Relationships:
A guide for client discussions in CNM relationships. It covers fidelity, emotional security, connection, eroticism, safety, decision-making, visibility, time management, and negotiation.
Handout 3: How I Plan to Handle New Relationship Energy (NRE):
A worksheet to help clients navigate the emotional intensity of NRE.
Handout 4: Polyamory Relationship Skills – Finding Strengths and Growth Areas: An assessment tool for clients in polyamorous relationships. It focuses on key relational skills, such as consent, differentiation, emotional regulation, and how to maintain agreements.
Handout 5: Relationship Exploration: Past Experiences and Future Possibilities: An exercise to encourage clients to explore their early relationship models, experiences with fidelity, and thoughts on relationship agreements. It also includes prompts for considering different relationship structures.
Bonus 6: CNM Annotated
Resource List [PDF Document]
Bonus 6: CNM Annotated Resource List [PDF Document]
This annotated resource list provides recommendations on polyamory, consensual non-monogamy, and related clinical topics. It highlights key books which focus on therapeutic approaches, attachment, and emotional regulation in polyamorous relationships.
Additional resources cover aging in polyamory, managing jealousy, racial dynamics in non-monogamous relationships, and practical guides for exploring open relationships.
Bonus 7: Summaries and Key TakeAways [PDF Document]
Su
Bonus 7: Summaries and Key TakeAways [PDF Document]
This course is jam-packed with in-depth information. These documents summarize the essential concepts from each of the 4 modules and bonus interviews, so you don’t have to rewatch hours of videos when you want to review the content.
This course was the most comprehensive and affirming training I’ve found on CNM.
Martha’s depth of knowledge is remarkable. I can gush about her for hours. She’s fantastic.
She equips therapists with fundamental, usable strategies that address the emotional complexity of working with consensual non-monogamy.
One crucial takeaway is Martha’s statement that agreeing doesn’t build trust; authenticity does. That reframed how I will support couples who avoid conflict or rush to reassure each other, rather than honoring their own needs and desires.
The course also helped me shift away from focusing solely on co-regulation. I now pay more attention to differentiation and self-soothing, and feel more empowered to guide clients through these emotionally charged dynamics. I have a clearer sense of how to hold space for difference and help clients build the capacity and skills to move toward more meaningful, values-driven agreements.
I recommend this course to any therapist, regardless of whether they work with CNM clients. The material on boundaries, consent, emotional regulation, and differentiation applies to all types of relational work.
Serena Perry, LMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist Associate Seattle, Washington
Not Sure This Course is for You?
Perhaps you’re thinking…
1. “I don’t work with CNM clients – this isn’t relevant to my practice.”
Even if you don’t currently see CNM clients, non-monogamy is becoming more visible, and you may already have clients who are considering it or practicing it without disclosing it to you.
Understanding CNM dynamics will make you a more informed, inclusive, and competent therapist, ensuring your clients feel seen, supported, and get the help they need.
You’ll also broaden your client base as clients in CNM relationships increasingly seek therapy.
2. “I already have a solid foundation in relationship therapy—why do I need a course on CNM?”
Traditional relationship therapy is often based on monogamous norms, which can lead to unintentional bias when working with CNM clients.
This course provides research-backed strategies tailored to non-monogamous relationships, equipping you to handle unique challenges such as multiple attachment bonds, complex boundaries and agreements, and ethical consent.
3. “I’m not sure I agree with CNM.”
As therapists, we commit to ethical, nonjudgmental care. CNM clients often struggle with stigma, even within therapy settings. It’s essential that you don’t add to this problem.
By educating yourself, you can open your mind, become more flexible, and ensure you provide affirming, evidence-based support – just as you would for any other client.
4. “CNM relationships seem too complex—I don’t feel confident working with people in them.”
Yes, CNM relationships are more complex. This course breaks down key concepts, provides practical strategies, and offers case examples to increase your skills and confidence with CNM clients.
By strengthening your ability to navigate differentiation, consent, emotional regulation, and secure attachment, you’ll enhance your overall clinical skills, making you a more adaptable and effective therapist with all your clients.
5. “I’m already overwhelmed with other courses and responsibilities. don’t have time for this.”
This course is designed to be practical and directly applicable. It will save you time in the long run by reducing uncertainty and helping you work more effectively with CNM clients.
You have 6 months of access to the materials in our learning center…AND you can download them and keep them forever. This means you can complete the course whenever you have time.
Instead of spending hours researching on your own when a CNM case arises, you’ll have the knowledge and tools at your fingertips.
Perhaps you’re on the fence about taking this course because you’re thinking:
The bottom line is…
As a therapist, you don’t need to practice CNM in your own life to provide competent, ethical care, but you do need the right knowledge and tools.
You never know when a CNM client may show up in your office; when they do, you’ll want to provide the best possible care.
This course will challenge your unconscious biases, help you work confidently with CNM clients, and stay ahead of the evolving landscape of modern relationships, while strengthening your overall expertise in relational therapy.
Ready to join us?
This self-study course has 10 hours of high-value content that you can download and keep forever.
Want to give it a trial?
If you don’t see value in the course, you can request a refund within 7 days of registering.
Summary of What You Get in ThiS SELF-STUDY CoursE
- 4 recorded 90-minute modules on working with clients in CNM relationships
- Downloadable videos, audios, and transcripts of the 4 modules
- Worksheets for each webinar to help integrate your learning
- 4 pre-recorded bonus interviews on CNM relationship topics (with videos, audios, & transcripts)
- 5 helpful handouts to use with clients
- An Annotated Resource List on CNM
- Summaries and Key Takeaways of all modules and bonus interviews
- The ability to download all materials and keep them forever (Yay!)
- Certificate of completion for 10 hours of instruction
- Submit certificate in Canada to CCPA for CECs and CRPO for PD credits
- PD points for PACFA and ACA in Australia
- AASECT – This program meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for 6 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward AASECT certification and renewal of certification.
- Money-back guarantee – if you decide the course isn’t for you, you can request a refund within 7 days of registering.
As you can see, THis Course offers a lot of value...
This course led to critical shifts in my approach with CNM clients.
I had already worked with CNM clients, but I sensed the need for more structured guidance, especially as more CNM clients began to appear in my practice. This course certainly fulfilled that need.
Martha’s grounded, confident presence, along with her use of real-world examples, immediately drew me in. She brought a lightness and clarity to the material that made it feel accessible and deeply relevant.
I was impressed by the depth of the course. It’s not something you absorb in one pass. It’s a resource I know I’ll keep returning to, especially when I encounter complex client situations.
Martha showed me how to be more intentional about helping clients clarify their motivations, set agreements they can uphold, and engage in CNM as a thoughtful and evolving process.
The handouts offer practical, ready-to-use tools that can be integrated into sessions immediately, making the theory actionable.
For any therapist working with CNM clients or those beginning to explore this work, this course offers a solid foundation, advanced concepts, and clinical tools that can be used immediately. It is a great course!
Laurel Swenson
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Vancouver, BC
Frequently Asked Questions
This course is geared toward psychotherapists, counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and any other helping professional who wants to learn about working with clients in CNM relationships. Whether you have experience working with CNM clients or not, you’re bound to find this course helpful.
This is a self-study course consisting of recorded modules and interviews.
Yes! The course is designed for therapists at all experience levels with CNM clients. Martha will help you build competency from the ground up, providing both foundational knowledge and advanced clinical strategies.
Yes. Martha draws from current research on CNM relationships, attachment differentiation theory, and clinical best practices. The course includes the latest data on CNM relationship outcomes and therapeutic approaches.
Yes! One of our key focuses is helping therapists support clients through the process of exploring and transitioning to CNM, including working with couples where one partner is interested and the other is unsure.
Yes! The course includes numerous case studies, practical demonstrations, and role-play exercises to help you apply the concepts in real clinical situations.
The strategies taught in this course can be integrated with most therapy approaches. Martha will show you how to adapt your existing clinical skills while adding CNM-specific interventions.
1 PAYMENT OPTION: $297 (Reduced from $447)
$297 CAD for Canadian residents (No GST)
$297 AUD for Australian and New Zealand residents (Australians add GST)
$297 USD for Americans and all other residents.
2 PAYMENT OPTION:
2 monthly payments of $165 (Reduced from 2x $227)
2 payments of $165 CAD spaced 30 days apart (for Canadian residents – No GST)
2 payments of $165 AUD spaced 30 days apart (Australian residents add GST)
2 payments of $165 USD for the USA and all other residents
If you don’t see value in the course after you enrol, can request a refund within 7 days of registering.
You can download your certificate for 10 hours of course content once you pass the short course quiz.
USA
CEUs – We are not officially approved for most CEU’s. We will give you a certificate of completion for the course. You’ll have to check with your professional association or licensing board to see if they’ll provide you with CEUs.
AASECT – This program meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for 6 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward AASECT certification and renewal of certification.
Canada
CEC’s – CCPA (Canadian Counselling Association). CCPA will give CECs if you submit your certificate to them.
PD credits – CRPO (The College of Registered Psychotherapist) will give when you submit your certificate to them.
If you belong to another professional association in Canada, you’ll have to check with them to see if they will give you credit for the course with your certificate.
Australia
OPDs – ACA (Australian Counselling Association)
10 OPD (Ongoing Professional Development) points
CPDs – PACFA (Psychotherapists and Counsellors Federation of Australia)
10 hours of category A CPD
You will have access to the materials in the learning center for 180 days (6 months) from the date you signed up for the course.
However, you can download all materials and save them forever.
My confidence has increased and my client outcomes have improved.
As a clinical psychologist specializing in consensual non-monogamy (CNM), Martha’s training program was a game-changer for me. Before taking her course, I often felt alone navigating this space, relying on self-education and personal experience.
The course validated the work I was already doing. Furthermore, Martha’s expertise filled critical gaps in my knowledge, particularly around some interventions and terminology. It significantly enhanced how I support my clients.
What sets Martha apart is her teaching style. She has a grounding, calm, and confident presence and an incredible ability to distill complex topics in a way anyone can understand. Her knowledge is vast, and her course is structured to keep you engaged. I’ve taken other classes on CNM, but Martha’s work is light-years ahead of anything else I’ve seen.
If you’re a therapist who wants to learn about working with non-monogamous clients, Martha’s teachings are absolutely worth it. Just do it!”
Dr. Rachael Meir,
Licensed Clinical Psychologist and a Certified Clinical Sexuality Coach
St. Petersburg, Florida
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WOW! Martha’s teachings forced me to confront my prejudices!
Privilege is blind. I live a comfortable life, and there are things I hadn’t seen because they didn’t affect me. Martha created a space where I could examine my assumptions without judgment.
One of the most powerful lessons I learned was recognizing who the “hinge” is in a CNM relationship – the person who connects multiple partners. That realization shifted how I approach therapy with CNM clients, giving me a structure and a way to navigate conversations that once felt overwhelming.
Martha’s background in differentiation work shines through in everything she teaches. She’s also goal-oriented, clear, and doesn’t let you lose focus.
If you’re a therapist considering this course, you must realize that CNM relationships are happening. These clients may be showing up in your office, whether you know it or not. And if you choose not to work with CNM clients, you still need to know how to decline in a kind and non-harmful way.
Martha’s teaching didn’t just make me a better therapist; it changed me personally. I now see the importance of being informed, not just for my clients, but for the kind of therapist (and human) I want to be. I can’t recommend her training enough.
Tari Tron
Psychotherapist
Mexico City, Mexico
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If you don’t see value in the course, you can request a refund within 7 days of registering.
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