Problems Therapists Have Working with Conflicted Couples
You shy away from practicing couples therapy because you find it difficult to deal with hostile or conflict-avoidant couples.
You practice couples therapy but lack confidence doing it.
You’re not happy with your success with conflicted couples.
The good news is that you can become competent at helping couples with anger by participating in this couples therapy training.
“I love my work with couples. Instead of feeling dread when a challenging couple enters my office, I feel excited and can’t wait to get to work with them.”
“Before I started training in the Developmental Model, I often felt completely overwhelmed when working with couples, especially those who would attack each other. I didn’t have the skills to contain their conflict and stop the painful reenactments they repeated with each other.
Thankfully, I found the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, and my couples therapy work was transformed. Since working with this model for over 20 years, I have become a passionate, skilled, and well-respected couples therapist and trainer in The Developmental Model.”
Sue Diamond
Addictions and Couples Therapist; Certified Developmental Couples Therapist & Trainer, Vancouver, BC
Therapy with Couples Can be Daunting
Intensely Hostile Couples Can Cause Even Experienced Couples Therapists To Want To Run for The Hills Or Become Paralyzed With Fear
When angry and bitter couples start acting out their anger in the therapy room, it can seem like bullets are flying around so fast that it’s impossible to stop them.
Working with these difficult couples can lead to feelings of incompetency and severely hamper your ability to help them.
Treating Couples Who Avoid Conflict Are Often More Challenging To Work With Than High-Anger Couples
Conflict-avoidant couples may appear easier to work with because their anger isn’t explicitly expressed. Hence, they are often not as overwhelming or scary to work with.
You may feel more in control of sessions with the conflict-avoidant couple, but still find it challenging to move them forward. These couples typically have a deep investment in hiding or suppressing any intensity. Breaking through their denial is far from easy.
“Thanks to Ellyn’s course, I learned how to structure sessions with hostile couples so they stop hurting each other and make effective changes.”
“Ellyn’s training helped me tremendously. Before I took her awesome course, I lacked the skills to work effectively with couples. I was intimidated by hostile couples and often didn’t realize the problems my conflict-avoidant couples were not revealing. They just seemed nice.
Thanks to the course, I discovered how to structure sessions with hostile couples, so they stop hurting each other. I also now know how to help conflict-avoidant couples bring their conflicts to the surface so they can be resolved.
I now specialize exclusively in couples therapy and love it! I am forever grateful to Ellyn, Pete, and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy.”
Kelly Scharver
Couples Counselor, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Become a Confident Leader in the Therapy Room -
Be Effective Even With the Most Conflicted Couples
This online course will equip you with the essential knowledge, skills, and tools required to help couples resolve anger, saving many relationships.
You’ll learn a framework and methods to ground you in your work with couples, helping you become a more skilled and effective couples therapist.
You’ll be highly respected by your clients and colleagues. Your reputation will grow, as will your caseload, if you have a private therapy practice.
Who Can Benefit From This Couples Therapy Course?
Experienced Couples Therapists
Like other experienced therapists who train with Dr. Bader, you might be surprised to learn how much you can improve your skills when dealing with angry and conflict-avoidant clients.
New Couples Therapists Or Those Wanting to Become a Couples Therapist
If you’re new to couples therapy, this training will provide tools and a grounding in how to work with anger in couples therapy. You’ll be thankful to have these tools and skills at your disposal as you gain experience in couples therapy.
Individual Therapists
Deepening your understanding of how partners provoke anger in each other will prevent you, as an individual therapist, from falling into the trap of getting pulled solely into one client’s perspective. This increased awareness will make you a much better individual therapist.
The Benefits of This Couples Therapy Training
Overcome fears and insecurities about working with hostile or conflict-avoidant couples. Develop the skills to handle any couple’s anger.
Avoid the common traps that couples therapists fall into. Make your couples’ sessions work for your clients, not against them.
Create developmental growth in each partner and avoid having clients who tell their friends and colleagues, “All that the therapist did was let us fight.”
Manage your own “anger triggers” and establish greater control in the therapy room.
The Developmental Model - An Internationally Respected and Extensively Practiced Method of Couples Therapy
Many models of couples therapy focus solely on the dynamics of the couple relationship.
The Developmental Model helps couples build strong relationships by addressing both the intrapsychic problems of the individuals within the relationship and the interpersonal dynamics between the partners.
This integration makes it easier to improve couples’ relationships and help them grow as individuals.
The Developmental Model integrates:
Attachment Theory
The developmental model helps couples therapists assess each partner’s attachment pattern and then provides strategies for helping couples develop a more secure attachment.
Differentiation Theory
This theory shows couples therapists how to help couples manage their differences and grow as individuals, so their relationship does not become stagnant or wounded.
Neuroscience
The developmental model teaches couples therapists to utilize some of the latest findings on the brain, and make those easy for their clients to understand and use to help them improve their relationships.
“This course provides great value for the cost. She's a skilled and authentic therapist and a great trainer.”
“Ellyn’s Developmental Model is very helpful. I really like how she focuses on attachment and differentiation. A lot of couples have poor boundaries, past trauma, past developmental deficits, and blame each other for their problems, etc. Her model identifies these issues and provides a structure for working with them right from the first session.
I use her Initiator-Inquirer exercise regularly with couples and find it hugely helpful. It is deeper and more sophisticated than most other listening exercises I have used with couples. Ellyn provides great value for the cost of her courses. She is a skilled and authentic therapist and a great trainer.
Gina Vanderham
Marriage and Family Therapist, Vancouver, B.C.
Dr. Ellyn Bader, Co-founder of The Developmental Model, is Internationally Recognized as a Leader in Couples Therapy Training
Ellyn has trained thousands of couples therapists across North America, Australia, Europe, and South America. She is also the author of several successful books on couples therapy.
Ellyn’s textbook, In Quest of the Mythical Mate, has been reprinted 20 times due to high demand. It has been used in graduate schools in the US and Canada since 1988. It won the Clark Vincent Award from the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy.
Ellyn and her husband, Peter, have successfully been practicing couples therapy for over 40 years.
Ellyn and her husband have many therapists trained in the Developmental Model who work with them throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. The model is used by therapists in over 60 countries.
Ellyn is a therapist who practices what she preaches.
She has been married to couples therapist, Dr. Peter Pearson, her co-founder of the Couples Institute, for over 40 years. Ellyn and Peter have built a strong marriage by applying the principles of the Developmental Model to their relationship.
Here’s what you’ll discover in this online course:
MODULE 1
Overview Of The Developmental Model Of Couples Therapy (90 Minutes)
The developmental stages of couples’ relationships and how to use them to facilitate growth in couples therapy
What is differentiation, and why it matters in healing troubled relationships
A 5-minute diagnostic exercise for assessing the developmental stage of any couple
6 criteria to help you choose what to say and when to say it, so your interventions are targeted to each partner
MODULE 2
How To Work With Hostile Angry Couples (90 Minutes)
Recognize and confront 5 untenable behaviors used by angry partners and get their commitment to stop using these damaging behaviors
Use a 3-step process to help partners set goals for themselves, rather than insisting that their partners change.
Discover 10 principles for managing your sessions with fighting couples
Develop a structured treatment plan to contain couples’ hostility, push development, and facilitate enduring improvements
Use the Initiator-Inquirer Process to promote differentiation and build compassion and empathy within the couple
MODULE 3
How To Work With Conflict-Avoidant Couples (90 Minutes)
Common presenting problems of conflict-avoidant couples and how to deal with them
How to recognize the 2 types of conflict-avoidant couples and why one type can be difficult to identify.
Why conflict-avoidant couples are particularly difficult for therapists
The essential core principles of treatment for helping avoidant couples.
Key traits that you need to cultivate within yourself to be successful with conflict-avoidant couples
2 pre-recorded q&a sessions
2 Pre-Recorded Sessions Where Dr. Bader Answers Common Questions (120 Minutes)
This course includes 2 pre-recorded sessions in which Dr. Bader answers some of the most common questions about working with couples in conflict.
If, after watching all the modules and the bonus materials, you still have questions, you can easily scan the questions in these sessions looking for answers.
“I feel a sense of empowerment that I’ve never felt before, and that means everything when doing the difficult work of couples therapy.”
Ellyn has helped me to become a competent couples therapist. Working with couples can be anxiety-provoking. You never know what you’re going to be confronted with and how someone is going to react to what their partner might say or do.
I now feel confident and grounded in knowing I have many options for managing hostile-angry and conflict-avoidant couples. I feel a sense of empowerment that I’ve never felt before, which means everything when doing the difficult work of couples therapy.
Elany Mueller
LMFT, Pasadena, California
You’ll have 180 days accesS
to all the course materials in our learning center. AND you can download them to your computer and have them forever.
AND, there’s more…
When you sign up for this online course, you’ll also have instant access to these 4 Bonuses…
Bonus 1: Rethinking First Sessions [Audio & Transcript]
In this audio, couples therapist and husband of Dr. Bader, Dr. Peter Pearson, shares common mistakes couples therapists make when asking questions in first sessions. They show you how to ask the right questions to facilitate relief in the couple and set them up for future growth.
Bonus 2: Affairs in Couples Therapy [Audio & Transcript]
In this audio recording, Dr. Ellyn Bader discusses how to evaluate the meaning of an affair, core treatment issues, including the value and pitfalls of obsessing about the affair, and how to create a treatment plan for affair recovery.
Bonus 3: How to Work with Anger and Addiction in Couples Therapy – Juliet Austin Interviews Therapist, Sue Diamond [Video, Audio & Transcript]
In this interview, Juliet Austin from the Mind Body Training Institute interviews therapist Sue Diamond. Sue shares her experience using the developmental model of couples therapy with hostile-dependent, conflict-avoidant, and couples where one or more partners have had or currently have an addiction.
Sue is the Director of the Good Life Therapy Centre in Vancouver, BC. The center focuses on helping couples and individuals create loving relationships in the aftermath of addiction and trauma. Sue has over 40 years of experience as a therapist and is certified in the Bader-Pearson Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. She trains therapists in Vancouver and internationally on the model.
Bonus 4: Working with Gay Men in Couples Therapy with Clinton Power [Video, Audio & Transcript]
In this interview with Juliet Austin, Clinton Power shares his wisdom about working with gay men in couples therapy. He discusses the different types of gay relationships and the specific issues therapists need to be aware of when doing therapy with gay men.
Clinton stressed the importance of therapists needing to be more than “gay friendly” and instead be “gay informed.” Also, he explains why therapists need to watch their assumptions about gay men and their lives, as all relationships are different.
Clinton also shares common problems gay men bring to therapy, including issues around open relationships and differences in the stages of coming out amongst couples.
Finally, he discusses how he combines several couples therapy approaches to help gay men resolve their relationship troubles and shares an interesting case study.
Bonus 5: Summaries and Key TakeAways
These documents summarize the essential points from the modules and bonus interviews. They will help you review key concepts and reinforce your learning without having to rewatch the videos. They offer a practical, time-saving resource that you can refer to again and again.
“I feel refueled - I am so grateful for your training, and especially the gifts that you bring to it, Ellyn.”
Before taking this course, I was frustrated to see how the attachment and differentiation models were often pitted against each other. Finally, I discovered Bader and Pearson’s work at The Couples Institute. It seemed like a comprehensive approach, and I knew I wanted to commit to being trained in the Developmental Model.
Incorporating differentiation, attachment, and neuroscience, as well as the developmental stages, seemed to have it all, and I was right.
Meg Luce
LMFT Grass Valley, CA
Acquire the Skills You Need to Successfully Treat Highly Conflicted Couples
Feel empowered knowing that you can help couples develop deep empathy for each other, become collaborative partners, and strengthen their love and commitment.
3, 90-minute pre-recorded and downloadable videos and audios of each module ( 4.5 hours)
Word-for-word transcripts of each module
Handouts – additional material for each module
4, 60 minute Bonuses on special couples therapy topics with videos, audios and transcripts
2 Pre-recorded sessions where Dr. Bader answers common questions (2 hours)
PDF copy of the slides for each module
Exercises for each module
Summaries and Key TakeAways for each module and bonus interview
180 days (6 months) access to all materials in our Learning Center – You can also download the materials and keep them forever
USA: NBCC CE Credit available for 9.5 Clock Hours
AUSTRALIA: 10 hours of category A CPD points for PACFA and 10 OPD ACA points
CANADA: Submit the certificate for CCPA and CRPO PD Credits
A certificate of completion for 10 hours of professional development
“I have benefited enormously from Ellyn’s online training.”
“ Ellyn’s training has helped me become more confident and competent in applying the Developmental Model in my practice. Her integration of 4 theories gave me a much clearer understanding of what I need to do to be an effective couples therapist with an angry couple or a hostile partner in a couple.
I have trained in 7 different couples therapy approaches, and one of the distinguishing traits of the Developmental Model is that it is very user-friendly and comprehensive while providing a flexible, overarching framework. The model also has useful tools/handouts for both therapists and clients, something which is lacking in some of the other models I’ve trained in.
Ellyn has done an excellent job of integrating neuroscience, developmental theory, differentiation theory, and attachment theory. I highly recommend her training.”
Vivian Baruch
M. Counselling & Clinical Supervisor, Sydney, Australia
Take the course for a test drive for 7 days
Sign up for the course, and if you decide it’s not what you want, we’ll refund 100% of your fee.
It’s a self-study program. All the modules and video bonuses are pre-recorded. You’ll have access as soon as you register. You can watch the videos, listen to the audios, and/or read the transcripts at your convenience.
USA NBCC – The Mind Body Training Institute has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 8016. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Mind Body Training Institute is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. This program is approved for 9.5 clock hours.
CANADA
CEC’s – CCPA (Canadian Counselling Association) will give CECs if you submit your certificate to them. PD credits – CRPO (The College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario) will give you credits if you submit your certificate to them.
If you belong to another professional association in Canada, you’ll have to check with them to see if they will give you credit for the course with your certificate.
AUSTRALIA
ACA: The course is approved for 10 OPD (ongoing professional development) points for members of the Australia Counselling Association (ACA).
PACFA: The course can count towards 10 hours of category A CPD points for members of the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia (PACFA).
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